The Day the Dark Lost
by Hungarian Hexes
Summary: Sixteen students are on a mission, a Dark Lord dies, and I don't think we ever find out what happened to the rest of Dublo7 and Dublo8's fireworks.


THE DAY THE DARK LOST

THE PLAN:

-Agents Quill and Strategy – stationed outside Hufflepuff and Gryffindor common rooms respectively, Quill on research for charms and hexes

-Agent Greenie – detain Pro. Sprout in any way possible, ask Badger for help when needed

-Agents Dublo 7 and 8 – stationed in fifth floor hallway and third floor hallway, fireworks at the ready for alarm

-Agent Fireworm – stationed w/Dublo 8 in third floor, detain McGonagall if must at alarm

-Agent Twist – spy jobs, miscellaneous jobs that no one else got, you know what to do

-Agent Badger – outside Greenhouses to back Greenie up w/Sprout

-Agent Eton – carry news of Dublo 7&8's works to staff room with alarm

-Agent Snake – stationed outside Snape's office to lock it w/charm from Quill

-Agent Crescent – back Twist and Snake up

-Agent Hex – detain DM w/hex from Quill in any way possible no one's gonna cry if he's in the Hospital Wing for a week or two

-Agent Raven – stationed outside Flitwick's office to distract when alarm is pulled

-Agent Twin – get Vector off our hands; he's good at sniffing out plans

-Agent Quibbler – detain any prefects you see from heading towards HMO except Badger who shouldn't be anywhere near the place anyways Quill ditto Hex, and Eton

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THE PREPARATION:

"Okay, you guys got that?" the Captain whispered to his crew through the headset system.

"Sir, yes Sir!" fifteen voices chimed.

"Good; get to your stations now! Alarm's in three. Foghorn, remember." the Captain dismissed them and turned to his

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Agents Crescent and Twist crept up to the Astronomy tower, where they could get the best reception with their disks. They set up 'camp' there and settled one disk on the Ravenclaw CR, the other on the Slytherin.

"Raven! Terry Boot is gonna ask Flitwick for help during plan; don't lock the office. Lock the CR instead once the Pro. is inside." Crescent whispered into his headset to Raven.

"Hex; be ready for a double-dipper; Parkinson's gonna be with DM." Twist reported to Agent Hex.

"Is that all?" the Captain's voice came in through their HSs.

"Sir, yes sir!" Both whispered.

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Agents Dublo 8 and Fireworm crept up to the hidden room behind the tapestry of Edward the Indulgent on the third floor and stashed a load of huge flaming fireworks behind it. They unfurled a fuse and illusioned it to fit in with the floor.

Both Agents settled behind a knight standing halfway down the hall, Fireworm ready to run for McGonagall's office.

"Ready, Agents?" Captain asked.

"Sir, the works are ready, and the Cat is covered!" Dublo 8 grinned.

"Never change." the Captain said.

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"Quill, Strategy; ready?" the Captain asked.

"Better than ever. Get it to Snake that the incantation is 'Lokmosis', and to Hex that a great charm is 'Endelis'. It covers pairs." Quill answered.

"What she means is sir, yes sir." Strategy smiled. "And so am I."

"Great; I'll get them to them." the Captain grinned.

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Agents Hex and Snake were just creeping up on their targets when the Captain's voice came through their HSs. "Hex; the incantation's 'Endelis'. No idea what it does, but it's probably good since this is Quill we're talking about. Snake, it's 'Lokmosis'. Good luck."

"Sir, yes sir!" Both whispered.

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Agents Badger and Greenie were setting up outside the Greenhouses; spreading out their Herbology homework and grabbing a mandrake and a venomous tentacula to add emphasis.

"Okay guys, ready for the Alarm?" the Captain whispered in their ear pieces.

"Yep; got the plants and papers." Greenie flashed a grin at Badger.

"Sir, yes sir." Badger grinned as well.

"Good Sprout's in number four today, FYI." Captain cut out.

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Agent Eton joined Dublo 7 on the fifth floor, almost panting. "Sorry I'm a bit late; I had to go by the staff room to make sure at least some teaches were there."

"It's fine." both Dublo 7 and the Captain chimed. "Ready, both of you?"

"As ready as we'll ever be. And if it goes wrong, by some weird chance?" Dublo 7 opened the connection up to all channels so everyone could hear.

"What kind of chance? The plan is just for fun, you know." the Captain said suspiciously. "I doubt you meant that."

"No, I think my good twin means a 'Moldiewarts Chance'." Dublo 8 (third floor with Fireworm) commented.

"Ah. Him." the Captain paused. He coughed. "I guess if he attacks, we're already in a pretty good position. Crescent and Twist can warn us if weird things come in, can't they? And we can wing it a bit. Of we'll still have to get the goods somehow, no matter what, but we'll fight if it comes to that." He coughed again. "Not that I think it'll come to that, but still."

"Sir, yes sir." Quibbler and Twin intoned cheekily from their posts near the West wing and the HMO.

"Now, to risk being clichéd, I'm going in." the Captain paused. "Keep all lines open, though. Twist, I think you'll be able to take your dish off the Hufflepuff CR to search the air."

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THE ACTION:

The Captain sounded the Alarm and took off through a series of twists and passageways that he had memorized through the Marauder's Map. He was ready to dodge the fireworks on the fifth and third floors. He nodded to Fireworm and Eton as they dashed from their stations. He waved to Strategy passing by him in the hall; he had missed Quill. When passing close to Flitwick's office, he heard Raven talking to the miniature Professor.

Through his headset, he heard Greenie and Badger in the Greenhouses and Twist giving live update on subjects; he filed it away for later. The Captain took one last corridor to get to his target and stopped in front of it and breathed, "Gummy Worms." The door opened and he dashed up the escalator, not particularly caring that it moved of its own accord.

Once inside the office he heard a stunning report from Twist, soon joined by one from Crescent.

"Captain! The Munchers are on the move! I think they're attacking Hogwarts!"

"There's a Slytherin uprising; DM was their leader and now the Hydra is learning to move on it's own half are with Moldie, the others are with us."

"Shit!" the Captain swore and ran for the window. "Twist, you're right. Munchers are swarming the grounds, maybe two hundred at the most, but more then enough to invade. Shoot a few spells at them and Raven'll tell Flitwick. Raven?"

"I'm on it, Captain. Oh, sorry Professor. I just received breaking news that we're under attack." the Captain snorted at the innocent voice Raven delivered the message in.

"Okay, you lot know what to do. I'll get the goods and meet you in the Great Hall. Over and out!" Captain grabbed the goods and ran out the door again, this time foregoing the tricky passage business, just jumping the twenty feet from the first floor to the ground. He stowed the goods in his pocket and shrunk his outer robe, figuring it too difficult to move in during a duel or battle.

The Captain shut and locked the doors to the Entrance Hall with one of the hardest locking charms to break in the Universe; Colloportus. Or at least when you're not expecting it. In the Hall, he met the fifteen Agents and they put together a Master Plan so devious, so cunning, so brilliant that no one could guess what it was:

Captain was going to sneak up on Moldie and hit him with a tickling charm, then a cheering charm, then a spell found by Quill to triple the effects of both charms, making the Darkest Dark Lord of all time die from laughter. "Ready, break!"

Snake, Crescent, Hex, Raven, Twin, and Quibbler ran off to muster up the Ravenclaws and Slytherins to control the Slytherin uprising, so it didn't interfere with the Master Plan that was so devious, so cunning, so brilliant that no one could guess it. Twist, Badger, and Eton dashed to their common room to get the Hufflepuffs ready for a field hospital – so no injured students got in the way of the Master Plan that was so devious, so cunning, so brilliant that no one could guess it.

Strategy, Fireworm, Quill, and Greenie ran to get the Gryffindors to fight from the walls. Dublos 7 and 8 were booby-trapping the floor of the Entrance Hall so that if the Munchers got in, they'd most likely get in their own way. Captain just walked around, checking up on his Agents through his HS. He was actually pretty bore—spoke too soon.

The Munchers never got into Hogwarts—the Gryffindors were too good at aiming—but Moldie got in. Just in time for a bucket of pink paint to fall on his head, triggering a chain reaction that would leave anyone in shambles (it had been tested on the Potions Master). The paint falling set a bowling ball rolling down a shaft to land on a see-saw that sent a pumpkin pie (filled with ton-tongue toffees, canary creams, and other WWW) flying into Moldie's face, sending him tripping backwards to step on a tile that triggered another chain reaction.

This one let a bucket of water fall, activating a motion sensor half-way up the wall, which in turn started a paint-ball gun firing spit-balls around the Entrance Hall, leaving the Dark Lord wet, covered in pink, half turned into a canary, and with a spit ball stuck to his bald head. He was pretty angry, to say the least.

"Who ever did this is gonna—" Moldie started before he was hit by a tickling charm, followed by a cheering charm. Rolling on the ground in laughter, a huge smile plastered on his face, Captain took a deep breath and fired the third spell. Moldie took one last giggling fit and fell silent. He died of laughter, just like the Master Plan (that was so devious, so cunning, co brilliant that no one could guess it) dictated.

"Is it safe to come out?" a little first year piped up from the third floor. Captain stepped into the open and nudged Moldie's body with his toe. It collapsed into a pile of sand and blew away (like in the movies).

The Captain broke into a wide grin, "Yep, it's safe now. Agents, get down here now; I got a surprise for you." He said into his HS. The fifteen Agents flew down the stairs.

"What is it?"

"What's better than getting rid of Moldie?"

"I think we did a good job, don't you?"

"I like bananas!"

"We barely got to do anything!"

The Captain held up a hand to silence his friends. "We got the goods." He showed them the bag of Lemon Drops he snagged from the Headmaster's Office. "Which means, Agents, that the Mission is COMPLETE!

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Cast:

Agent Quill - Hermione Granger

Agent Strategy - Ronald Weasley

Agent Greenie - Neville Longbottom

Agent Dublo 7 - Fred Weasley

Agent Dublo 8 - George Weasley

Agent Fireworm - Ginevra Weasley

Agent Twist - Hannah Abbott

Agent Badger - Susan Bones

Agent Eton - Justin Finch-Fletchley

Agent Snake - Blasie Zabini

Agent Crescent - Jake Moon

Agent Hex - Daphnee Greengrass

Agent Raven - Cho Chang

Agent Twin - Padma Patil

Agent Quibbler - Luna Lovegood

The Captain - Harry Potter

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Okay, I know that some of the characters were slightly OOC, but I'm taking a lot of Liscense on this thing in general. This was also named Mission: Get Those Lemon Drops at first, but it evolved into something else when I got done with the plan early.

I got the idea from watching **Recess**, one of the best shows of all time, and decided that it would be cool if this happened HP style. And I know that the whole "the mission is complete" thing was a bit corny, but this is supposted to be a humor fic! I'm not gonna go about how Moldie is laying there, dead at The Captain's wand! I mean, come on! I'm doing that enough in my other stories as it is!

One more thing - you don't like, go jump off a cliff.


End file.
